10 Things I Love About Nehemiah

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Nehemiah Love docHave you ever read a story where the main character seemed so real that you feel like you know them personally even though they’ve been dead for a couple thousand years? That’s the way it was with me when I started reading the book of Nehemiah in the Bible. I love this guy. I can’t wait to meet him in heaven. Until then, here’s 10 things I love about Nehemiah:

  1. Nehemiah is a man of prayer. Half of the book of Nehemiah is written in a first person narrative style. I felt like I was getting a peek into Nehemiah’s personal journal. I noticed right away that his story is punctuated with prayer. Nehemiah not only tells what is going on but just stops the narrative to pray. Prayer is a vital part of his story, like breathing is a natural part of being alive. And Nehemiah practices two kinds of prayer: long-term prayer ( he prayed for four months before speaking to the king) and short-term prayer (he breathes a prayer before he opens his mouth to speak to the king.)
  2. Nehemiah has a tender heart – “When I heard these words (that Jerusalem was in a shambles), I sat down and wept. I mourned for a number of days, fasting and praying before the God of heaven.” (Nehemiah 1:4). I like a man that’s not afraid to cry and this man is crying over the right things; things  that grieve the heart of God.
  3. Nehemiah is a believer in a secular job. He works in the upper echelon of society. His job as cupbearer to the king is a dangerous one, where every test sip could be his last. To me this shows he is a man of incredible faith and his faith shows in the way he lives. Even unbelievers like the king and the queen see God in him, and love him. When he asks permission to go and help his people rebuild the wall, the only question they have for him is when will he return.
  4. Nehemiah not only has the favor of men, he has God’s favor, too. My oldest daughter felt called to be Salt and Light in the film industry in LA. After getting over my initial terror, I began praying Daniel 1:9 for her: that God would cause her to have favor with the officials. It was reassuring to see other men in the Bible like Ezra and Nehemiah were also blessed with God’s favor, the favor of the people in charge and as a result were allowed to accomplish great things.
  5. Nehemiah is an organizer, a planner, a thinker, a list-maker – a man after my own heart. When the king asks him what he needs, he has a plan of action (Chapter 1). When it comes to rebuilding the wall, he has a plan of action (Chapter 3).  When the work is threatened, he has a plan of action – “we prayed and set up a guard.”  When the work is done, he has, guess what? A plan of action. He prays, yes, but then he acts. And it’s not his plan – he is working on God’s plan – what God is putting in his mind to do(2:12, 4;6, 6:8) and what God has put in his heart to do. (2;2, 7:5). He’s thinking with both sides of his brain.
  6. Nehemiah is a leader. He calls the people to action and they respond. Over 42,000 people are listed as being present in Israel at the time and NO ONE stood up to rebuild the wall. Here comes Nehemiah and he changes everything. Nehemiah shows the power of one. One person following hard after God and joining in what God is already doing on planet earth can make a difference!
  7. Nehemiah is a gifted public speaker. His first rousing speech, “Come, let’s rebuild!” (2:18) motivates a nation and his NO FEAR speech reminds me of Aragon in The Return of the King movie: 

    Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of Men fails When we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship But it is not this day An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the Age of Man comes crashing down But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth I bid you stand, Men of the West! 

    Nehemiah delivers such rousing speeches because he believes! He believes God will give them success (2:20) and he believes that God will fight for them (4:20).

  8. Nehemiah is a man of discernment. He hears from God and acts on what God gives him to do but there are no visions, no dreams in this narrative: just Nehemiah praying and knowing what God wants him to do.  How I long to be like him in that way – to hear from God and know it’s not me, it’s the Holy Spirit guiding and directing. Phrases from the book like “God put it into my heart” and “what God was putting into my mind to do” and “Then I perceived..” and “I consulted with myself” fascinate me.
  9. Nehemiah was not afraid. He believes God and continues the work God called him to in spite of mocking, plans of secret attack, lies and other threats from inside and out. When tempted to “become frightened and act accordingly and sin,” he rejects the notion soundly always telling people to remember God and what He’s done. He’s not afraid to call people out on their sin either. The funny thing is, he’s so polite about it saying, “Please leave off this usury (the practice of lending money at an exorbitant rate of interest, in excess of  the legal rate). “He corrects with gentleness and respect
  10. Finally, Nehemiah is a very woman friendly book. People often complain that the Bible is a male-centered book. Some versions have even come out with generic pronouns instead of the he’s and him’s. Personally, I don’t have a huge problem with this but for those of you who are bothered by this:  Nehemiah mentions women.  He mentions the queen as well as the king. He mentions the women who work on the wall – Shallum AND his daughters. He mentions the people AND their wives, their sons AND their daughters.  When the people gather to listen to the reading of God’s Word, he mentions that “men, women and all who could listen with understanding.” – to me this means that he put women on equal ground when it came to learning and understanding God’s Word. After all, they were the ones who would be carrying out the preparation for the feasts and they would be the ones to impress God’s Laws on their children, to talk about them when they sit at home and when they walk along the road, when they lie down and when they get up.  Nehemiah knows that the Jewish men should not be marrying foreign, idol-worshiping women because then they will lose a whole generation of children who will not be raised in a God-fearing home. He even mentions a woman when he lists the people undermining the work of building up the wall: Noadiah, the prophetess.

This is going to have to be 10 Things I Love About Nehemiah Part 1 because there’s a lot more to the book of Nehemiah and I’ve only gotten half way through. Once Nehemiah restores the wall he begins restoring the people. Stay tuned for 10 More Things I Love About Nehemiah.

January 12, 2013

10 MORE Things I Love About Nehemiah

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Nehemiah- moreLove copy We have now finished the book of Nehemiah at our Women’s Bible study (actually we’ve also finished the book of Ruth and are planning the fall study of Deuteronomy – I’m really slow) so I wanted to write down (as promised) 10 more things I love about Nehemiah and the book he wrote. I didn’t want to repeat what I wrote before but now that I’ve read the whole book with fresh eyes some of what I mentioned before bears repeating and expanding on. Here’s what I came up with:

1. Nehemiah Sets the Standard for Christian Leadership

I’ve been reading a daily devotional called Divine Moments for Leaders. Guess who they hold up as an example of excellent leadership? You guessed it, Nehemiah! My husband and I were both already in positions of leadership – English teacher and Women’s Ministry Leader – at the start of my study of Nehemiah. It was during the Nehemiah study, however, that God asked my husband to take a leap of faith. Cliff was on a comfortable trajectory with a five year plan for retirement when the vice principal position at the high school became vacant. He was asked to step in as interim VP. This meant longer hours and more stress but also the opportunity to make a difference on campus: to encourage and unite the teachers, to help more students and use all that God had poured into him all these 30 years for His glory. My husband has a big heart and he wanted to spread God’s love around the campus.

Seth Godin in his book Tribes asks:

“Why are so few people amazing?  The tactics of leadership are easy. The art  (or perhaps the heart) of leadership is the difficult part. Only authentic generosity, a visceral connection to the tribe (the people you are working with and for) makes great leaders. You have to be committed. Caring is the key emotion at the center of the tribe. Tribe members care what happens, to their goals and to one another.”

If there is anything I learned from the book of Nehemiah it is that one man can step up and make a difference. One man can change a nation and one man can change a school.  Nehemiah did and I believe my husband can, too, because…

Nehemiah is a believer in a secular job (Part 2)

The last book of the Old Testament is Malachi but since the book of Nehemiah is somewhere in the middle of the Bible (just before Esther, Job, Psalms and Proverbs) you may not realize that Nehemiah and Malachi were contemporaries. I didn’t. Malachi was the prophet during Nehemiah’s time. The story of the rebuilding of the wall and the city falls around 400 years before the arrival of John the Baptist and the story of our Savior begins.  

Which got me to thinking; if Nehemiah hadn’t come and rebuilt the wall, Jesus would have had no city to come to. If Jesus didn’t have a city to come to, how could He have died for us on the cross at Calvary?  If He didn’t die for us, we’d still be in our sins, hopeless, without a Savior.  Nehemiah is part of the salvation story, too. God put it in his heart to rebuild a wall – a secular task – and in so doing, he rebuilt a people and a city for Jesus to come to 400 years later.

I thank God for each and every person who does the job God sets before them each and every day.  You never know what your faithfulness in the little things, the so-called secular things, will accomplish for eternity.

And I thank God for my husband stepping out in faith to take on a new and challenging secular job at a time when he should be thinking about retirement. He still believes God has equipped him for the work he is doing and that until the day we die…

3.  We All Have a God-given Job to Do 

When the Nehemiah study started I wondered why Ezra (who’d been in Jerusalem for awhile) hadn’t motivated the people to rebuild the wall. During the course of the study, I voiced this question and one of the women at my table had an answer for me. (Thanks, Bonnie!  This is why we get together to talk and ask our questions in community – so we can share what the Holy Spirit is teaching us at home in our personal study time.)  She said Ezra and Nehemiah had different purposes, different jobs. Ezra’s job was spiritual and Nehemiah’s was secular.

Nehemiah was a layman who had the favor of king. This king gave him all the supplies (wood & iron bars) he needed to rebuild the gates and the wall. Ezra didn’t have these kind of physical resources. His resources were spiritual because he had “set his heart to study the law of the LORD and to practice it, and to teach His statutes.” After the rebuilding the wall (and having their need for safety met), the people were ready to hear from Ezra. And that’s when Nehemiah stepped aside and let Ezra lead. Sometimes we have to step aside and sometimes we have to step up!  Live life ready to take the next step with God.

4.  There are No “If Onlys”, “Buts” or “Excepts” in Nehemiah’s Life

The final words of this book remind God that Nehemiah sought the purity of his people. He was dedicated to purity and this is why he did not abuse his power. He did his part (built the wall) and let Ezra do his part (teach the people what God said.) During the time of the Nehemiah study in my regular time of simply reading through the Bible, I “just happened” to be reading in 2 Chronicles about King Uzziah. There I found that King Uzziah marred his whole life of service by one arrogant act – usurping another’s power.  

Nehemiah was promoted to governor of the region. He was a true public servant – he feared God and devoted himself to what God had put in his heart – the construction of the wall (and the rebuilding of a people!).  There are so many examples in the Bible of good men who slip up at the end of their life.  In 1st and 2nd Kings it often says:  “he followed God BUT… “or “he was faithful EXCEPT in…”  There were NO “If Onlys”, “Buts” or “Excepts” in Nehemiah’s life, not a bad word is said about him.

Not so with King Uzziah about whom it was said: “as long as Uzziah sought the Lord, God prospered him…when he became strong, his heart was so proud that he acted corruptly and he was unfaithful to the Lord his God.”  What did he do?  He went and did another man’s job. He went into the temple to burn incense as only a priest should do. When they tried to stop him, he became enraged. God punished him by giving him leprosy. Then he couldn’t even do the job God had assigned him to do. He couldn’t lead the people. His son, Jotham, had to take over. Nehemiah stayed humble and obedient to the end. The book ends with Nehemiah calling on God to remember him – how he sought to keep the people pure.

5.  Nehemiah Shows What to Do When the Going Gets Tough

Random phrases often prompt me to sing songs from the 70’s and 80’s like Billy Ocean’s “When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going.” Nehemiah knew what to do when the going got tough.

  • He protected the gates.  We have to protect our gates. Kelly Minter asks: ” Are your doors open to the uplifting, truth-telling, and life-giving or to what corrodes your soul?  All day long we choose what goes in and out of our hearts and minds, and if you’re like me there are some doors, bars, and bolts that need tightening.” When sin slips into your life because you leave the gate of your mind wide open, shut the gates! When the buyers and sellers came on the Sabbath to sell their goods, Nehemiah shut the gates and told them to go away!  He even threatened them with violence if they returned.  We have to be just as ruthless with our own sin.
  • He protected the temple. If we are believers in Jesus Christ, our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. When sins slip in the temple of your heart, Nehemiah shows you what to do. Boot it out!  Nehemiah returned from a trip to Persia to find that the enemy, Tobiah, had moved right into the temple of the Most High God – and the people had let him do so. He kicked Tobiah out! Then he purified the temple and turned the focus back on God.  James 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
  • Nehemiah had no problem calling people on to the carpet about their sin and he held them accountable. Yet, he was never arrogant or rude about it. We see him in action when the  Jews were mistreating their own poorer brothers. Nehemiah said “Please let us leave off this usury!”  When they promise to obey God,  Nehemiah makes them really think about their actions by signing a covenant. They were already supposed to be doing these things but Nehemiah calls them to accountability and a re-commitment to godly living.

When they finished the wall half way in Nehemiah chapter 4, another song came to mind.  I began singing Bon Jovi’s Livin’ on a Prayer:

“Oh we’re halfway there, oh, livin’ on a prayer.  Take my hand, we’ll make it I swear, oh we’re halfway there.”

And this song really gets to the bottom of Nehemiah’s success in spite of his tough circumstances: He prayed. He encouraged. And he drew the people together as one; all the people, from all walks of life. He was an answer to Jesus’ prayer that we’d all be one before Jesus was even born!

Nehemiah chapter 3 lists the names of the people who worked shoulder to shoulder to accomplish the work. Individuals matter to God.  They were important enough to get their names listed in the Bible, the best selling book ever!  Each person took a section of the wall, usually what was closest or right in front of them, and the work was completed because each person did their job.

Matthew Henry said: “When a general good work is to be done each should apply himself to that part of it that falls nearest to him and is within his reach. If every one will sweep before his own door, the street will be clean; if every one will mend one, we shall be all mended.”

And there was a lot to clean up.  Before building could begin, rubble had to be cleared away. Hebrews 12:1-2 encourages us to get rid of the rubble: “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith.”

6. Nehemiah had Enemies and so will you

I was just listening to Timothy Keller.  He said that before you become a Christian, you have just one enemy, God, and He’s trying to save you. After you become a Christian your enemies multiply.  Suddenly the world, the flesh and the devil are against you.

Doing the right thing, following God’s will, didn’t make Nehemiah’s life easier.  In fact, following God’s plan made powerful enemies for Nehemiah. Nobody likes people mad at them. The list of those “furious” and “very angry” with Nehemiah seemed to grow as the book went on: Sanballat, Tobiah, Geshem, the Arabs, the Ammonites, the Ashdodites, etc. etc. etc.  In spite of this growing list, Nehemiah expected God to use His power and resources on his behalf.  When the going got tough, Nehemiah did what he could (pray AND set up a guard) and then he expected God to do His part (protect the work.)

One of my favorite moments in this book was when God protected the work.  The big talkers Sanballat and Tobiah planned a “secret attack.”  Apparently it wasn’t very secret because TEN times people came and told Nehemiah about it. God certainly has a sense of humor.  

7.   Nehemiah was not a ditherer. 

What does it mean to dither? dith·er  – A state of indecisive agitation. To be nervously irresolute in acting or doing. I’ve never cared for the actor Hugh Grant. He always seems to take on roles where the character can’t make up his mind…about anything. Conversely, that’s probably why I’ve always liked Russell Crowe who usually plays decisive, heroic types. (The one time I didn’t care for his character was when he played a ditherer in “A Good Year.” )

Nehemiah was not a ditherer He always seemed to know just what to do, acted decisively and did the right thing. His discernment was amazing. He knew when the enemy was trying to trick him. He knew that this project was more about rebuilding a people, not just a wall. His instinctive reactions are so God-centered. The Living Bible translated Nehemiah 7:5 like this:  “My God gave me the idea…”  I wish I could always know if my ideas come from God or from me. Instead, I am constantly wondering if the direction I am headed is God’s direction or the way I want to go. Or if the decision I am making will please Him or if I didn’t hear God correctly.  God speaks clearly all the time but this “receiver” doesn’t always receive the message loud and clear.  I plan to keep reading the Word so that my will will someday become God’s will.

8. Nehemiah had Big Faith

I have this question posted on my Facebook page:  “God is looking for someone to believe.  Will it be you?”  Nehemiah faced a daunting task: rebuilding a city and a people. He believed.  He acted. And the wall was rebuilt. And when it was done the enemies lost their confidence because “they recognized that this work had been accomplished with the help of our God.”  God got the glory for Nehemiah’s work. If our God is for us, who can ever stop us?  

But Nehemiah still had a problem. The city was built. A faithful man who feared God more than most was put in charge. But no one was living in the city. It’s finished but empty. Solution? The people drew lots to see who would leave their home an livelihood (farms) to move into the city.

Now the big question? Would I be willing to leave my comfortable home in the country; to leave my cozy job in a church office if God called me to go to the city and minister to people there?  Do I trust Him enough to do that. Am I a woman who fears God more than most? Would I be afraid but obey God anyway?

9. Nehemiah shows us that we are in control of our emotions

After the wall is built, Nehemiah and Ezra read the Word of God out loud to the people.  There’s power in the Word. Power to change. I encourage you to read it: silently, out loud, by yourself, with others. Experiment with different worship positions: stand, bow, face to the ground. The people stood for the Word of God when Ezra and Nehemiah read it out loud to them.

Even though Ezra had spoken the Word to them for years, they could actually hear it now.  Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs suggests that you need basic needs like food and security met before you can move on to higher things like spirituality. (I personally think you need God at all levels of need but I understand where Maslow is coming from.)  The people were safe behind their walls now. God had protected them. Their hearts were ready for the Word. They began to weep when they heard it.

Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 3 that there is an appointed time for everything: A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance. Nehemiah stepped in when they were weeping and told the people now was not the time to weep. He called on them to control their emotions – to stop crying and start partying!  After all, the joy of the Lord is their strength.

Then after a week of partying, Nehemiah directs them to mourn, stop rejoicing and start mourning. To me this just shows that in God we have the strength to rein in our runaway emotions – we don’t have to stuff our emotions but God can help us have the right emotion at the right time. We don’t have to let our emotions run us. We can hand our emotions over to God and let Him sort them out.

I’d like to close with this final observation on the book of Nehemiah…

10.  Beware of Emotional Letters

The books of Ezra and Nehemiah teach us to use caution when sending an emotional letter. There are many letters written in the books of  Ezra and Nehemiah – some letters that hurt people and stopped the work of God and some letters that ordered the work of God to continue.  

The written word and the ways we send it out (Handwritten notes, Email, Facebook, Twitter, posts to a blog,  etc.) can be used for good or bad.  During the course of my Nehemiah study a destructive, unkind, unnecessary letter was sent out via a mass email to all and sundry. My husband happened to receive a copy of it and was bewildered by its contents. It was the kind of letter that should be written just to get the negative emotions out and then burned – not sent to everyone in your address book. Think before hitting send because…  

In Matthew 18 God’s Word doesn’t say: “if your brother or sister sins against you post about it on Facebook.” instead it says that in order to restore your relationship with your brother or sister… “If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private.” And maybe you don’t even need to go to your friend.  Examine your own heart first. Perhaps God will equip you to forgive the offense. Proverbs 17:9 (AMP) “He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends.”

Thanks for reading my observations on Nehemiah. I hope you enjoy reading and studying his story as much as I did.

August 27, 2013 

The Adventures of Beanie & the TK Twins – Part 1

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Honey and Mr. Wiggins (wearing Beanie)

Once upon a time there was a gray knit hat named Beanie.

Beanie loved clinging to his Master’s dreds as he ground the coping at the local skatepark. Beanie loved the wind in his face schussing straight down Mammoth Mountain on a snowboard. Nothing was better to Beanie than bouncing along the mountain bike trails of Tehachapi, California – the sun, the view – how could life get better than this? Life was an adventure and Beanie was living his best life now!

But one day at lunchtime, Beanie’s Master took refuge from the pouring rain in the 800 hundred wing – in Wiggy World – the realm of High School English teacher, Mr. Wiggins. Beanie was soggy so his Master kindly took him off and set him on a nearby desk to dry out before he commenced talking with his friends.

Suddenly, the bell rang. Beanie’s Master leaped up and bolted out of the room.

At first Beanie wasn’t worried. His Master would remember him as soon as the rain hit his head. But then Beanie noticed it wasn’t raining anymore. A spark of fear flared up.

The classroom slowly filled with strangers. Nobody sat at Beanie’s desk. Nobody seemed to notice Beanie – except Mr. Wiggins who strolled over and scooped him up.

“Anybody lose a beanie?” he queried. No one replied. Crickets.

Mr. Wiggins walked over to his colorfully decorated bulletin board and, to Beanie’s utter mortification, took a pushpin and impaled Beanie to the wall. Every class period that followed, Beanie had to endure the humiliation of Mr. Wiggins pointing out the fact that he was lost.

Beanie kept holding on to the hope that his beloved Master would return and claim him, but one day Mr. Wiggins took Beanie down from the wall and stuffed him inside a dorky rolling backpack. Beanie was about ready to suffocate when he was suddenly yanked from his prison.

A woman glared at Beanie with distinct displeasure.

“Honey, one of my students left this beanie in my classroom and no one has come to claim it. It’s kind of a cool hat. If we throw it in the washing machine, it’ll be good as new.”

Beanie was aghast. Who used the word “cool” anymore? And what was a washing machine? And, no! Horrors! Beanie could not belong to TWO OLD PEOPLE. 

“Honey” gingerly took Beanie between two fingers, carefully holding him far away from her body. Then she flung him into a giant drum with a bunch of towels that smelled like wet dog and some dirty socks that still had grass clinging to them. A stream of gooey blue liquid came pelting down from above as Beanie braced himself for the torture to come.

Beanie loved the washing machine. He got soaked. He got pummeled. He got to spin faster and faster. He never wanted the fun to end. This was almost as good as mountain biking.

But all good things must eventually come to an end. Two hands gathered Beanie up and threw him into another large drum which gently tumbled him about blowing warm air in his face. Beanie was almost asleep when someone began folding him up.

Honey proceeded to toss Beanie into a brown woven basket. Beanie turned around to get his bearings. The basket was filled with other beanies and an odd assortment of hats. The snobby French Beret immediately moved as far away from Beanie as possible. A goofy black/green/white striped Cat-in-the-Hat-style hat welcomed him to the Hat Basket.

All the other knit hats pressed around him closely, wanting to know all about him. When Beanie shared that he’d come from Mr. Wiggins’ classroom a baggy light gray beanie and a black Nike logo beanie slapped him on the back. They, too, had joined the Hat Basket via Wiggy World.

“What do you all do for fun?” Beanie asked hopefully.

Beanie’s worst fears were realized when they replied that they mostly napped and hung out together in the Hat Basket. Two ridiculous knit hats with giant pompoms on top said they got taken out occasionally for gentle strolls in the snow or for the occasional Warrior football games. The brimmed caps said they got to go to work with Honey when she was having a Bad Hair Day. The French Beret only went out for costume parties or Halloween.

Disappointment threatened to overwhelm Beanie.

Later, when all the excitement of his arrival died down and the other hats were napping, twin gray hats similar in size and shape to Beanie and bearing the imprint Craft Beer TK Pizza and Pasta approached. 

“Don’t tell anyone else,” they said, “but we get to go sledding when it snows and on hikes to the top of the mountain. And every time Honey and Mr Wiggins go to have pizza and beer, we get to go along.”

Hope rose in Beanie’s chest. He began to plot his escape.

Years passed.

Each time Beanie went out, he manfully tried to get away. Sadly, he never succeeded falling off Mr. Wiggins’ head. He never managed to wiggle out of the coat pocket Honey stuffed him in. All attempts to slip from the front pouch of a hoodie and fall to the ground were thwarted.

Beanie tried to be content with the occasional tame walk around the park or a ride in the car. Sometimes he got left in the car (he hoped to fall out) but Honey always seemed to remember and fastidiously return him to the Hat Basket.

He tried to feel important keeping Mr. Wiggins bald spot warm – but Beanie longed for Adventure.

As Beanie lay languishing through another tedious day in the Hat Basket, his revery was broken as his domicile was lowered to The Closet Floor. Honey began to sort all the residents of the Hat Basket into two piles. One pile, apparently, was making a journey to some place called the Thrift Shop. The other pile was going to Move to the Beach.

Beanie couldn’t decide which destination would be the best to free himself. He didn’t know what a Thrift Shop was but his former Master had talked about the beach – surfing, paragliding, frisbee, beach volleyball. Maybe Beanie could escape at the Beach and find a new Master who was an extreme sports junkie just like Beanie. He held his breath in anticipation.

Honey did not even hesitate. She tossed Beanie in to the Move to the Beach pile. All the hats thrown in the Thrift Shop pile began to weep uncontrollably as Honey stuffed them into a large black trash bag filled with other rejected clothing.

Beanie was elated! He was moving to the Beach!

When the Hat Basket was unpacked and installed in its new location under the Coffee Table in the Living Room in Carpinteria, California, Beanie couldn’t wait to check out the coastline. 

It did not disappoint.

Honey and Mr. Wiggins took him to see beautiful sunsets and the surfers almost every day. Beanie was beside himself with joy when Honey almost got run over by a paraglider landing right on top of her at Rincon State Beach. Beanie was sure his luck was about to change. He would soon get a new young Master and enjoy the adventurous life once again.

And then one day, it happened. 

While scouring the beach at Rincon for sea glass, Honey got too warm and stripped off her hoodie. She tied it securely around her waist and tucked Beanie inside. Five thousand steps later (according to Honey’s FitBit) the sweatshirt loosened and slipped. Honey untied it to re-wrap it around her body and Beanie fell away.

He was free at last!

For the next half hour Beanie happily rode the waves. Surfing instantly became his new favorite sport. He was filthy, filled with sand, soaked with sea water and he hadn’t been this happy in a very long time.

He didn’t even mind when Honey and Mr. Wiggins retrieved him and stopped his rolling in the surf. He was satiated with adventure – for the moment. His filthy condition warranted another beautiful tumble in the washer and dryer and then he was back in the Hat Basket to recount his tale to the other residents.

One of the TK Twins had been riding on Mr. Wiggins’ head and verified everything that Beanie related to his fellow hats. But then he added how worried Honey was. TK1 said they were almost to the steep, sloping path leading to the parking lot when she noticed Beanie was missing.

Panic had set in.

Backtracking over a mile to find him, TK1 told everyone that Mr. Wiggins and Honey must really love Beanie to go that far to fetch him and return him safely to the Hat Basket.

Beanie said, “Yeah. Yeah. Whatever, dude” and promptly went to sleep.

Two weeks later, Honey once again pulled Beanie off her head and tucked him under her arm after a long walk on the beach. When she lifted her arm to pull her hair into a ponytail, Beanie fell free and landed on the pavement.

This was his big chance.

Beanie had landed in the parking area of the Local’s Beach – The Jelly Bowl. A group of amped young surfers dressed in wetsuits jogged past him saying things like “hey bro, I’m stoked” or “this is fully sick:” talking of how the waves were cranking and extra gnarly today.

Nobody even noticed Beanie. 

Beanie thought, “Cowabunga, dudes, I speak surfer, too!” 

Beanie wanted to give the traditional shaka sign to them, but unfortunately he had no thumb or little finger to extend to form the traditional “hang loose” hand signal.

More surfers, both male and female, came trotting by carrying boards, all in a hurry to reach the stacking waves as soon as possible.

The sun beat down mercilessly on Beanie. Hot and miserable, he began to get a little worried. What if no one picked him up? What if the sun faded him?

Just then, a mom and her two pre-teen sons approached the car Beanie was laying next to. Her foot came within inches of Beanie as she opened the hatchback but she didn’t seem to notice him. The boys began tossing Boogie Boards and flippers into the vehicle as they chattered away about Double Rollos. Hope flared within Beanie for a moment and then died as they all piled into the vehicle.

Just when Beanie thought life could not get any worse, the car backed up and rolled right on top of Beanie. He was being crushed. Was it his destiny to die here under the wheels of a 1999 Subaru Outback? His life flashed before his eyes.

Grief overcame Beanie. No one would want an old, sun-faded, beanie with a dirty tire track running across his forehead. 

Wait. What? Did Beanie just say he was old?

Thankfully the tire – along with the rest of the car – rolled off him and down the road.

Abandoned in the street, Beanie had time to contemplate his life. Yes, he had grown old. And, actually, if he was honest, he enjoyed his life with Mr. Wiggins and Honey. TK1 was right. It was better to be loved and live in the Hat Basket than to end up in the gutter alone, forsaken, crushed under a car tire.

Beanie began to pray that Honey would notice he had escaped once again and come back to rescue him. Hours passed. Just when he thought his life was truly over, Beanie heard a car drive up. Then footsteps.

“There you are!” exclaimed Honey. Beanie was so relieved.

When he got back to the Hat Basket, he confessed his sins to all the other hats. Being lost and all alone had taught him something. His life was actually pretty good. He solemnly swore that he was totally content with the placid beach life Honey and Mr. Wiggins lived. He was never again going to try and escape.

TK1 nodded sagely in agreement, but TK2 was thinking Beanie was a total hodad; bailing out on the adventurous life.

TK2 immediately began to plot his own escape.

To be continued…

(originally published May 22, 2021)